How to appear bigger than you actually are as a microISV

I saw this comment from Martin on Joel Spolsky’s Business of Software forum, answering the question “How to appear bigger than you actually are as a microISV” and thought it was too funny not to re-post. Laughed until my eyes watered reading this list. Kudos to you, Martin.

>How do you appear larger than a single person company?
*Remove all prices from your website
*Require all sales to go through layers of sales reps and account mangers before being directed to an approved reseller.
*Remove all support
*Sell consultancy to fix any problems in the software
*Never return calls or emails except for canned response about how the inquiry is very important to you and is being looked into.
*Rename and rebrand yourself and your products repeatedly