Irrefutable proof that those little 'What kind of <X> are you' on-line surveys are crap

I don’t normally go in for this kind of thing, but when I saw this “what kind of coffee are you“ survey I knew I had to try it out. According to it I am an Iced Coffee. Like hell I am! I am a double-espresso, there are just no two ways about it. I’ve drunk 3 double espressos a day since as long as I can remember, and before that? I drankĀ espresso con panna or viennas. I am not athletic. I don’t drink coffee when I’m out with friends, I drink coffee every single day to keep me alive. Friends? BAH! I don’t evenĀ HAVE friends! I have human endpoints I exchange [sometimes verbal] messages with. Caffeine addiction: medium - now this is just absolutely crazy. I get bad nasty pounding headaches if I don’t have a coffee before mid-day. What would I need to rate a high? Slurp tripple espressons in the shower while washing myself with think-geek caffeinated soap before eating a breakfast of ground-up beans foating in Jolt Cola? Hey, that doesn’t sound too bad, and breakfast is only about 5 hours away…..

You Are an Iced Coffee
At your best, you are: hyper, modern, and athletic At your worst, you are: cheap and angsty You drink coffee when: you’re out with friends Your caffeine addiction level: medium
What Kind of Coffee Are You?


Scott C. Reynolds
whoa…calm down…have a coffee, it will soothe you.

Agreed. This one is poorly done. Only one question even had anything to do with the coffee.

As for the caffeinated soap…yeah I love that stuff :) I think they have a body wash now too.
1/08/2005 5:45:00 AM
Kim Peacocke
My results said I was an espresso & I only drink one coffee a fornight!
2/08/2005 4:33:00 PM
David RealLastNameUnknown
Dude, I got burnt!
I was having a look back through your blog and thought I’d do the ‘Here, I’ll insult with you with a coffee analogy’ test. Soy Latte. Fuck that! I’m not even a proper coffee drinker and that is offensive.
31/08/2005 7:48:00 PM